First Birth Story & Second Birth Plan
I did not plan to have a cesarean when I was pregnant with Elani. I also did not have a strict birth plan. I knew that I wanted delayed cord clamping, to receive an epidural, to have skin-to-skin as soon as possible, and to breastfeed as soon as possible. Other than that, I figured whatever was going to happen…was going to happen.
I started to have contractions on the day before Elani’s due date while I was deep cleaning my house. Evan was working, but my mom and grandmother came over to make sure I was okay. I had told them that it was not necessary, but they insisted. It was nice to have that time with them, but nothing came of the contractions so they went home once Evan was done work.
As the night went on, my contractions progressed. They were fairly easy to manage until around midnight. At that time, I called my doctor and we headed to the hospital. I remember every bump in the road only adding to my discomfort. We rang the after hours bell to get into the hospital and headed to the maternity ward. I was only 3cm dilated, but my contractions were very strong. We informed some of our family that I had been admitted and my mom, dad, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law all came to visit. We only planned for my mom and Evan to be in the room for the delivery.
Though I was not yet 4cm dilated I was still able to get an epidural. It was a great relief and I was finally able to relax. I remember the nurses telling me that my contractions were off the chart (they were watching from the nurses’ station), but I luckily couldn’t feel them anymore. Eventually, I fell asleep.
I don’t know how long I was asleep. I just remember being jolted awake by bright lights, lots of voices, and a team of people rushing into the room. Honestly, it was a whirlwind. I remember being moved and flipped into different positions and the doctor breaking my water. Apparently, Elani was not doing very well with my contractions and they were causing her heart rate to drop. They gave me something (I don’t remember what it was) to slow down the contractions and her heart rate eventually went back to normal. I tried to mentally recover from everything that has just happened and be strong, but when a nurse can in later to check on me I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I broke down in tears. I was honestly just scared for my baby girl.
We all watched the monitors like crazy after that moment. It was definitely hard to relax. Unfortunately, I was no longer progressing well so they gave me pitocin to stimulate my contractions again. Even more unfortunately, Elani’s heart rate was being negatively affected by my contractions again. We just watched the monitors and it works do and recover, drop and recover. By 11:30 a.m. on June 8th, I was just under 8 cm dilated, but progressing very slowly. It seemed that my labor had stalled.
The doctor eventually came in and asked if, given all the circumstances, I wanted to move forward with a cesarean section. It was a very easy answer for me. Yes. I could not take waiting and waiting to dilate more while just watching her heart rate drop and recover. It was draining. Physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. My husband was in complete agreement. I was bummed that it meant my mom couldn’t be there for the delivery, but Elani’s safety was my top priority.
In the operating room, everything was going well for a while. I remember them taking her out and hearing that first cry. It was the best sound ever. Evan and I both cried. Shortly after that, I started feeling nauseated. Evan was trying his best to get me to look at our baby girl but I couldn’t even turn my head. I felt so sick and I made sure to let them know that. They kept a bag handy for me in case I got sick, but I didn’t. I can honestly say that I hardly remember what happened next. I felt pain. Excruciating pain. They were trying to sew my incision, but I was no longer numb. The next thing that I remember was waking up in recovery. Evan had Elani and everyone was just waiting for me to wake up. He filled in the blanks for me.
Apparently, I had to be put under so they could finish sewing my incision. Evan said that I had been writhing in pain. The whole situation made him uneasy and he started feeling faint. Once he informed them that he was feeling well, they escorted him out of the operating room. Understandably, the last thing they needed was him getting sick or passing out. Since I was completely knocked out, he held Elani and got to spend one-on-one time with her. It was definitely not the most ideal situation for me, but I’m glad they got that time together.
Once I was awake and well, I was able to hold Elani and breastfeed her. It was such a relief to see my beautiful, healthy baby girl. Holding her was a dream come true and made it all worth it. The rest of my stay at the hospital was fairly uneventful and I was very happy about that. Elani was healthy and I was healthy. Everything else went well and we all got to go home on June 11th.
It may seem strange that I am choosing to have a c-section again considering the fact that it was not the most pleasant experience the first time. I don’t think that is how it would go with a scheduled c-section this time around though. I know that there is also a very good chance that this baby girl would not be negatively affected by my contractions, but I just don’t want to go through that again. I would rather have a terrible cesarean experience (which I don’t believe will happen) than ride that emotional rollercoaster again. It’s just not worth it to me.
So, I have happily scheduled my cesarean for November 16th and am crossing my fingers that baby girl does not try to come any earlier. I am so incredibly excited to meet her and look forward to a much more enjoyable delivery this time around.
